the date(s)

D posted a simple enough question today. I’ve been pondering how to answer it for about 45 minutes. I’m even preoccupied enough with my answer that I’ve put off learning to play The Beatles' Hey Bulldog and making any actual dinner.

The premise, for those of you too lazy just go read the original post, is that you are on a third or fourth date and Mr. Right(Now) is cooking dinner for you at his home. In your perfect world, how does the night go? (Interestingly, this question was only posed to the ladies. I guess D figured that all of the men would simply answer that they wind up in the sack by the end of the night, the sooner the better.)

I’m still procrastinating... on to my answer.

I can tell you easy enough what I don’t want:

The typical romantic dinner for two

Chilled champagne

Red roses in the middle of the table

Soft music in the background

Dimmed lighting

All of that may be nice, but it didn’t require any imagination, and definitely doesn’t tell me that you get me.

So what would make it perfect?

The basic stuff is easy:

The cleaner his house, apt, etc. the better. But not because I’m coming over, because he just is Super-Clean-Man

As long as the food isn’t from an ocean or river or sea or any type of water, I’m probably happy with it. If his specialty is fat, juicy burgers covered in cheese and chili then that’s what I want. If his hobby is being a gourmet chef, and we’re eating 7 courses, that’s okay, too.

Dress – the more casual the better. (I would wear jeans and t-shirts absolutely every place I go if I could get away with it.)

From here, though, my ideal night gets a little blurry. A big part of this is that, in a completely un-girly fashion, I don’t care much for the details like “what are you wearing” or “what kind of pots and pans are in his kitchen”. I also don’t plan too much anyway.

There are several very different ways the night could go that would make me happy. Here are a few scenarios.

Scene 1: The Chilled Out Date:
I show up, he greets me at the door, dinner’s about ready but we have some time to chill together while we’re waiting on the chili to finish simmering for the chili-n-cheese smothered burgers.

There are the general pleasantries, and he offers me a beer – a good beer like Smithwick’s or Killian’s. (What else goes with chili-n-cheese smothered burgers?) Then he digs up a CD of a band he was talking about on our last date that I’d never heard of, but he knows I’d just love them. We throw the CD on and sit on the couch ½ listening to the music and ½ chatting about whatever comes up.

A few minutes later, he finishes preparing dinner and we sit down to eat. The conversation continues. It’s probably going to cover everything from music to work to families... just one of those wandering conversations.

After dinner, which we clear together, we grab another round of cold beer and resume our chat outside on the deck/porch/grass/whatever. We watch the sunset... maybe cuddled up, maybe not.

Scene 2: The Rock-N-Roll Date:
I show up, he greets me at the door, dinner’s about ready but we have some time to chill together while we’re waiting on the chili to finish simmering for the chili-n-cheese smothered burgers.

There are the general pleasantries, and he offers me a beer – a good beer like Smithwick’s or Killian’s. (What else goes with chili-n-cheese smothered burgers?) He mentions that he has an after-dinner surprise. There’s a little flirtation as he won’t reveal the surprise until after dinner.

A few minutes later, he finishes preparing dinner and we sit down to eat. The conversation is light and fun... just one of those wandering conversations.

After dinner, we clear away plates and I harass him into finally revealing the surprise. What is it? He’s got tickets to see one of my favorite bands (local or indie or super-famous – doesn’t matter, he just knows I love ‘em).

We hit the concert venue, grab some drinks, and rock out together late into the night.

Scene 3: The Adventure Date:
I show up, he greets me at the door, dinner’s about ready but we have some time to chill together while we’re waiting on the chili to finish simmering for the chili-n-cheese smothered burgers.

There are the general pleasantries, and he offers me a beer – a good beer like Smithwick’s or Killians. (What else goes with chili-n-cheese smothered burgers?) As we’re talking, kick ass band on the stereo in the background, we talk about travel and going places. “Let’s go to xxxxx” tonight” he announces.

He then walks to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner and we sit down to eat. The conversation continues. Various places to see and such, around town or around the world.

After dinner, which we clear together, we pick a destination. We head out the door with nothing but a sense of adventure (and maybe my camera). We might be visiting every historic site in town, or we might be flying to Venice. The important thing is that we go and explore together.

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Upon reviewing my post, the important things in my date(s) seem to be:

Good Beer

Good Music

Good Company

And sharing a connection through these things - That sort of innate understanding you don’t have with everyone, but its presence makes some relationships so much fun. You get each other.

Oh, and whether or not we wind up in the sack? Maybe.