old friends

This weekend I realized everyone has two kinds of old friends.

There are a few friends that I only see once every few years, and after about 5 minutes of 'catching up', we're back into our old conversations and habits as if we see each other every day.

Then there are the majority of my old friends. We catch up - where do you work, you bought a house, maybe had a kid, etc. Then when we run out of that news, which is pretty quick, there's an awkward moment before someone starts telling you about mutual friends you have probably failed to keep up with. But after an hour or so, you realize that you don't really have that much to talk about. You share a few beers, tell a few stories, but it's a struggle to keep any real conversation going. Sometimes you even wonder what the heck you used to talk about when you did live in the same city and see each other all the time.

A couple of my old friends were in town this weekend. They're married and recently had their first kid. I was surprised how quickly they fell into the second category of old friends. These are people that I really dig, and have always enjoyed hanging out with. I think part of it is that they've moved on into the Suburban Phase of Life, where their days are filled with what they're doing with their house now and what's going on with their baby. (The kind of stuff that honestly bores me because I have no interest in Suburban Living whatsoever). It was like a big chunk of their personalities had vanished, although this may have been because they had some family around, too.

I was still really happy to see them, and will probably eventually take them up on their invitation to visit. I had fun with them, but it wasn't the kind of fun we used to have.

I'm finding this happens more and more frequently with old friends the older I get.

I ran into a girl that went to my high school about a month ago. She was a year or two behind me in school, and really weird. Nice, but weird. We weren't friends, but we were both band geeks, so we knew each other and had conversations once in awhile. I saw her in a used book store, and after my shocked "OMG" greeting, we did the catching up thing. She's married and staying at home to write some kind of fantasy stuff, and had recently won an award and was working on getting some stuff published. I told her about my music stuff, and a few minutes later we departed (with a rather formal handshake - did I mention she was weird?).

We only spent a few minutes catching up with each other, but it was far more interesting (to me) and informative than what happens with my old friends. We talked about the stuff we really care about - her writing, my music - and what little attempts we were making to enjoy it and maybe even make some money with it.

Why do people quit talking about interesting things and ideas as they get older?

atomic muzak

I unfortunately work in an environment where we're subjected to muzak all day. Occassionally we'll have something good, like Carbon Leaf or DMB or even some Beatles. Mostly it's generic muzak crap.

We actually played "Muzak Bingo" at work one month, where you had to be able to name the songs played.

A couple weeks ago we noticed a significant change in our muzak. Either someone did some major updates, or the satellite changed position and we're getting a new channel. Still lots of crap, but some weird stuff, too. I heard Freebird the other day.

And every day this week, at about 9:20 a.m. EST, I've heard Atomic Dog.

generation x and my career

I've been reading Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, which is a collection of essays by Chuck Klosterman.

The essays revolve pretty much around pop culture, and how Klosterman reacts to it and thinks about it. He says some things that I agree completely with, and some things I disagree with. In my head, while I'm reading, I think of all the responses I have to various points, and as a result I think Klosterman would be an interesting person to share a few pints with.

Since I'm not having a pint with Chuck Klosterman, I'm going to foist some of these thought onto my blog instead. And recommend you read the book yourself. (I'm also probably going to steal his 23 questions as good blog material, but that'll come at a later date).

---

(From "Sulking with Lisa Loeb on the Ice Planet Hoth"):

When sociologists and journalists started writing about the sensibilities that drove Gen Xers, they inevetiably used words like angst-ridden and disenfranchised and lost. As of late, it's become popular to suggest that this was a flawed stereotype, perpetuated by an aging media who didn't understand the emerging underclass.

Actually, everyone was right the first time.

All those original pundits were dead-on; for once, the media managed to define an entire demographic of Americans with absolute accuracy. Everything said about Gen Xers - both positive and negative - was completely true. Twenty-somethings in the 90s rejected the traditional working-class American lifestyle because (a) they were smart enough to realize those values were unsatisfying, and (b) they were totally fucking lazy.... There are no myths about Generation X. It's all true.

When I read this excerpt I wanted to laugh and shake Klosterman's hand, because, of course, I agree. I don't know a single person my general age (the very tail end of "Generation X") who thinks that an average working class job is acceptable. Some of us have these types of jobs, but we're all just waiting around for something more.

If you're one of these "Gen Xers", you had parents who always told you the importance of college, because the people with all the good jobs their age have college degrees. It was the magic ticket to the even better life. So off to college you went, where you probably received a liberal arts degree.

And how's that working out for you?

Me - when I graduated from college, I was waiting tables. I continued to do so throughout the summer, in between road trips with friends, sending out maybe 10 resumes. Then I took a job doing slightly less annoying work for slightly more money, with the intention that it would be a good place to work during my job search. I sent out a couple more resumes, and quickly moved up in the company, through very little actual effort on my part. Next month will be my 6-year anniversary with this same company, and now I'm in lower-level management.

I've been actually sending out at least 3 resumes a week, looking for something more related to my major and what I might want to actually have a career in (you know, other than 'rock star'). But truthfully, there's a part of me that expects someone to just walk up to me one day and say "Oh - you're just what we've been looking for!" and offer some spectacularly interesting job... even though I probably don't actually have any experience at doing these jobs.

I can't even decide exactly what fabulous job I want. I just know I don't want my current job, because it's so tedious and boring. And for those of you who know my job, you know that I do about 35 different things every day, and even that changes on a daily basis. And I'm still bored with it.

Maybe it's just that Chuck Klosterman has it right about Gen X, and therefore me, when he says: (b) they were totally fucking lazy. Because I just have never, in the past 6.5 years I've been out of school, really put a lot of effort into what I want to do as a career.

the setlist

I won't say much on the gig. It went okay. There were some rough spots where we weren't 100% together, and some moments we absolutely nailed. Everyone seemed to have a great time. Here's our setlist.

the gig

Tuesday I went over to jam with a new drummer guy & a guitar player I've played with a few times before. Before I had my gear set up I was informed we have a gig this Saturday, opening for a friend of someone's band. I got the impression they were asked about 20 minutes before I showed up to practice.

So every night this week I've been playing with these guys trying to get our little set list down - mostly covers and a couple originals. I think we *might* actually pull it off - we're playing together surprisingly tight considering how little we've actually played together.

Although we're still in need of a [good] band name.

tell me where to go

Last fall my mom gave me $200 in airline gift certificates (because she didn't want them herself). They've been sitting on top of my dresser ever since. They expire Nov. 30, 2005.

So, where should I go? Or where should we go if Silver Turtle Boyfriend wants to tag along? I don't want to spend much money at all... just get away for a couple days and not let those certificates go to waste. It has to be in the continental U.S. I'd shell out a little more cash on tickets, like maybe an extra $100, if I think the destination is really worth it.

Here's your chance - tell me where I should go & why.

cats & stuff

I'm not sure if I should find this sort of disturbing or highly amusing. Right now I'm leaning towards amusing...

irish punk

I can't believe I forgot to mention it... over there (to the right there----> ) under the silverturtle.goodies is a link to Celtic Rock & Punk Music. (workplace warning: clicking that link will actually play celtic rock & punk music)

Until I found Paddy Rock a couple weeks ago, I had no idea that Irish Celtic Punk was a specific genre of music. I thought bands like Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphys were just punk bands.... and a little Irish.

In one of those moments of serendipity, I discovered the Paddy Rock site the same day that the IRA announced their intentions to end violence.

Even more reason to grab a pint and rock out.

As Copy Princess and I always toast:

May you be half way to Heaven
before the devil knows you're dead

pub lovin'

All this talk of beer is making me thirsty.

Mac's is one of my favorite pubs around town. Great chilled out atmosphere, cheap food, cheap and tasty drinks, friendly staff. I even took my mom here for mother's day a couple years back.

the date(s)

D posted a simple enough question today. I’ve been pondering how to answer it for about 45 minutes. I’m even preoccupied enough with my answer that I’ve put off learning to play The Beatles' Hey Bulldog and making any actual dinner.

The premise, for those of you too lazy just go read the original post, is that you are on a third or fourth date and Mr. Right(Now) is cooking dinner for you at his home. In your perfect world, how does the night go? (Interestingly, this question was only posed to the ladies. I guess D figured that all of the men would simply answer that they wind up in the sack by the end of the night, the sooner the better.)

I’m still procrastinating... on to my answer.

I can tell you easy enough what I don’t want:

The typical romantic dinner for two

Chilled champagne

Red roses in the middle of the table

Soft music in the background

Dimmed lighting

All of that may be nice, but it didn’t require any imagination, and definitely doesn’t tell me that you get me.

So what would make it perfect?

The basic stuff is easy:

The cleaner his house, apt, etc. the better. But not because I’m coming over, because he just is Super-Clean-Man

As long as the food isn’t from an ocean or river or sea or any type of water, I’m probably happy with it. If his specialty is fat, juicy burgers covered in cheese and chili then that’s what I want. If his hobby is being a gourmet chef, and we’re eating 7 courses, that’s okay, too.

Dress – the more casual the better. (I would wear jeans and t-shirts absolutely every place I go if I could get away with it.)

From here, though, my ideal night gets a little blurry. A big part of this is that, in a completely un-girly fashion, I don’t care much for the details like “what are you wearing” or “what kind of pots and pans are in his kitchen”. I also don’t plan too much anyway.

There are several very different ways the night could go that would make me happy. Here are a few scenarios.

Scene 1: The Chilled Out Date:
I show up, he greets me at the door, dinner’s about ready but we have some time to chill together while we’re waiting on the chili to finish simmering for the chili-n-cheese smothered burgers.

There are the general pleasantries, and he offers me a beer – a good beer like Smithwick’s or Killian’s. (What else goes with chili-n-cheese smothered burgers?) Then he digs up a CD of a band he was talking about on our last date that I’d never heard of, but he knows I’d just love them. We throw the CD on and sit on the couch ½ listening to the music and ½ chatting about whatever comes up.

A few minutes later, he finishes preparing dinner and we sit down to eat. The conversation continues. It’s probably going to cover everything from music to work to families... just one of those wandering conversations.

After dinner, which we clear together, we grab another round of cold beer and resume our chat outside on the deck/porch/grass/whatever. We watch the sunset... maybe cuddled up, maybe not.

Scene 2: The Rock-N-Roll Date:
I show up, he greets me at the door, dinner’s about ready but we have some time to chill together while we’re waiting on the chili to finish simmering for the chili-n-cheese smothered burgers.

There are the general pleasantries, and he offers me a beer – a good beer like Smithwick’s or Killian’s. (What else goes with chili-n-cheese smothered burgers?) He mentions that he has an after-dinner surprise. There’s a little flirtation as he won’t reveal the surprise until after dinner.

A few minutes later, he finishes preparing dinner and we sit down to eat. The conversation is light and fun... just one of those wandering conversations.

After dinner, we clear away plates and I harass him into finally revealing the surprise. What is it? He’s got tickets to see one of my favorite bands (local or indie or super-famous – doesn’t matter, he just knows I love ‘em).

We hit the concert venue, grab some drinks, and rock out together late into the night.

Scene 3: The Adventure Date:
I show up, he greets me at the door, dinner’s about ready but we have some time to chill together while we’re waiting on the chili to finish simmering for the chili-n-cheese smothered burgers.

There are the general pleasantries, and he offers me a beer – a good beer like Smithwick’s or Killians. (What else goes with chili-n-cheese smothered burgers?) As we’re talking, kick ass band on the stereo in the background, we talk about travel and going places. “Let’s go to xxxxx” tonight” he announces.

He then walks to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner and we sit down to eat. The conversation continues. Various places to see and such, around town or around the world.

After dinner, which we clear together, we pick a destination. We head out the door with nothing but a sense of adventure (and maybe my camera). We might be visiting every historic site in town, or we might be flying to Venice. The important thing is that we go and explore together.

---

Upon reviewing my post, the important things in my date(s) seem to be:

Good Beer

Good Music

Good Company

And sharing a connection through these things - That sort of innate understanding you don’t have with everyone, but its presence makes some relationships so much fun. You get each other.

Oh, and whether or not we wind up in the sack? Maybe.

10 years

This past weekend was my 10 year high school reunion. I didn't go. In fact, I was pretty surprised when, about 8 months ago, our class president sent out an email to everyone and said we were, in fact, having a reunion.

I really like our class president - she was popular, but not in an annoying way. We had been friendly since we met in jr. high at the bus stop. But none of us exactly thought she'd get this thing together.

My senior year several friends and I had a running joke about the "Apathy Club". We were all in so many different clubs and bands and community service groups, beefing up those college applications, that we were just completely burnt out. We just all had this attitude of wanting to move on to bigger and better things. If you heard us refer to the Apathy Club, and asked what you had to do to join, you couldn't be in it. You cared too much. If, however, you heard us refer to the Apathy Club and expressed no interest whatsoever, one of us might say "Wanna be in the club?" If you responded "yes" - you couldn't join, because you still cared too much. If you said "I don't care" or, even better, gave a noncommital shrug, you were in.

Our class president sent everyone a little video montage of her photos from the event. For some reason, she put it to the music "We'll Make Great Pets". I went to a pretty small school, where even if you didn't know someone, you knew everything about them. I was amazed that everyone looked almost exactly the same, just a few years older. Maybe they put on or took off a few pounds, a few of the guys had thinning hair, but really everyone looked the same. I think I also could guess what about 60% of them are doing with their lives now. It did look like everyone had fun (it was an open bar).

I will be attending my 25 year class reunion. To get my stuff back. During our senior year our class (or some people in it) decided to make a time capsule. Everyone got a ziplock sandwich bag and could put anything they wanted in it. All the bags were then labeled with your name, thrown into a 5 gallon bucket (presumably that our class president would keep for the next 25 years) to be unvieled at that reunion. At first I had no interest in the time capsule. (Did you read that paragraph about the Apathy Club?) Then my friend Deza got me geeked to put something in. Mostly because her dad suggested that she throw in a condom and a note to herself that said "Betcha wish you would have used one of these 25 years ago".